But it was always the student’s fault.
In less than twenty minutes I found enough information to understand where the real business was.
It wasn’t in teaching others to make ten thousand dollars a month.
It was in charging four hundred and ninety-seven dollars to everyone who dreamed of making it.
There was the formula.
He didn’t need every student to get rich.
He needed thousands to believe they could get rich by buying from him.
I closed the page.
I turned off the screen.
I gave the card back.
And I lay there staring at the ceiling, thinking about the disaster I had just dodged.
I’m not telling you this so you’ll applaud me.
I wasn’t a heroine.
I wasn’t smarter than anyone.
I was broke.
I was tired.
And I almost bought.
I was inches away from handing money I didn’t have —money that wasn’t even mine— to a stranger who knew exactly where to press where it hurt.
The exhaustion of working nonstop.
The anger of seeing that the money wasn’t enough.
The frustration of doing everything and feeling like I was still in the same place.
The urge to believe there had to be a less shitty way.
That’s the real business of fake gurus.
They don’t only fool stupid people.
That would be too easy.
They fool tired people.
People in debt.
Smart people going through a bad time.
People who have been working for years and are desperate to see results.
People who don’t want to become millionaires out of greed, but because they’re sick and tired of counting coins before buying anything.
They know where it hurts.
They know you hate your job.
They know you look at your bank account with dread.
They know you feel you deserve something better.
They know you can’t figure out where to start.
And, above all, they know you want to believe.
That’s why every word is placed exactly where it is.
The beach.
The car.
The testimonials.
The crossed-out price.
The bonuses.
The countdown.
The twelve spots.
Nothing is there by accident.
That isn’t a presentation.
It’s a trap set up with little lights.
This book isn’t here to make you feel bad for having fallen for it or for coming close.
It’s so that the next time you see a countdown ticking, you don’t feel afraid of missing the opportunity.
So you feel like checking where the trap is.
So the card stays in your wallet.
So the seller waits.
So the supposed last spot goes to someone else.
And so that tomorrow, when the price magically stays the same and there are twelve spots left for Colombia again, you laugh.
Because there is nothing more dangerous for a smoke seller than a person who takes twenty minutes to think.
Twenty minutes.
That’s what kept me from buying.
And that’s what I want to give you with this book.
Time.
Information.
Street smarts.
Not so you distrust the whole world and end up believing even the baker wants to rip you off.
But so you learn to tell the difference between someone who knows and someone who learned to look like they know.
We’re going to look at how they trap you.
How they build a life made of props.
How they rent cars, houses, offices and even credibility.
How they use testimonials.
How they rush you.
How they turn their failures into your fault.
How they answer any criticism by saying it comes from an envious, poor or limited person.
We’re also going to meet the different species of guru.
Because there isn’t just one.
There’s the financial guru.
The spiritual guru.
The sales guru.
The crypto guru.
The artificial intelligence guru.
The relationship guru.
The guru who teaches you how to be a guru.
They’re like cars: they come in several models.
The difference is that these never pass inspection and still go out on the road spewing smoke.
This book has profanity.
It has sarcasm.
It has dark humor.
And it has truths that are going to scrape more than one person raw.
I’m not here to make everyone feel good.
That’s what quotes over sunsets are for.
I’m here so that the next time a ghost offers you paradise financed in twelve installments, you recognize it before you pull out your wallet.
I’m not going to teach you how to become a millionaire.
I’m not going to teach you how to manifest a Lamborghini.
I’m not going to tell you that getting up at four in the morning will turn you into a businessperson.
I’m going to teach you something simpler and a lot more useful:
not to let yourself be played by someone who makes a living convincing you that your desperation is a business opportunity.
Now then.
Let’s begin.